The Butterfly

What a beautiful morning! Surfboard in hand. Cool sand slid between my toes. The breeze kissed my face. The soft, warm glow of the sun crept up. The water invited me in. The board knifed through the water. The only sound was of my hands exiting the water as I paddled. As I renewed my friendship to the ocean, the east coast of Florida came to life. The waves were perfect. It was in effect that morning. In the lull between swells, I thought of the butterfly.

Long day at work. No news from Georgetown med, but maybe I will hear from them today. I kicked myself for applying so late, although I knew circumstances had not allowed me to really apply much earlier. Heck as it was I lucky enough to take the MCAT and get my application out period. Life has a way of happening while you are making other plans. Lennon was definitely right about that one. Let's see here. Bill, junk mail, have no idea what this is, a letter for Georgetown. Oh shit, a letter from Georgetown. Oh shit, it is not a packet...just a regular letter. Is this a Dear John? Crap. Should I even bother opening it? Who am I kidding? Of course I am going to open it! "We are pleased to..." I didn't need to read another word. I collapsed into the couch and thought of the butterfly.

The port was its usual, commercial fisherman, leisure fisherman, the local assortment of alcoholic fishes, sunny day. I figured the bench was a nice spot to wait. Near the entrance, maybe I could catch a glimpse as she was walking in. If it were not for the gum I had chewed for the last few hours, then my jaw would have been on the floor. Stunning, not enough. Gorgeous, nope, still not enough. Matter of fact, I'm still looking for the right descriptive term. Did I just become the luckiest man on the planet or what? She made me nervous. I never get nervous any more. Suddenly, I felt alive. I sat there completely lost in her. Naturally pretty, eyes that could make a blind man cry, an inviting smile. Pearl necklace with a nice blouse. Legs that didn't stop. Sandals. We had barely said two words to each other, and I was already in the hurt locker. By the end of lunch, I couldn't get enough, beautiful, passionate, funny, loving, caring. I completely melted in my state of paralysis. She was real and right there in front of me. On my drive home, I thought of the butterfly.

I often wonder about the butterfly. At the heart of a very complex system that intertwines us all with the environment around us lies the butterfly. In a wonderful kind of way, every event no matter how small or how great is dependent on those events that came before it. The butterfly batting its wings halfway across the world plays a roll in the wind patterns that affect the surf on the coast of Florida. And, what if those wind patterns set in motion a chain of reactions that allowed me to surf on that beautiful day, get into medical school, let alone meet a woman I completely and utterly adore. I smile when I think of all the possible ways a butterfly may have affected my life. Secretly, I see butterflies as God's angels. It is entirely possible that his work is passed along through butterflies. Entirely possible.

I took it.

Today, I turned around, sped up, and ran right at the damn thing. I caught myself sliding into being okay with okay. I might as well as put up the white flag, high and bright. In the middle of a long run today, I finally broke out. I grabbed that damn 500lb demon off my back and told it to go straight to hell. Except that, it landed on its feet and took off after me. Snarling and energized by fear, the beast accelerated. I felt it gaining on me. I ran faster and faster. It continued to close the gap. It saw me as prey. The beating of its claws grew louder and louder against the concrete. I had had enough. I turned around, sped up, and ran right at the damn thing. I stared right into its eyes. They glowed deep red. Its teeth were exposed, ready to pierce and tear flesh from my body. I have seen this beast many times before in my dreams lately, and every time the dream ended before battle but not tonight. Tonight, this beast was going down. It launched itself at me with a ferocious silence, claws engaged, teeth ready. I in turn braced to dismember it, sword in hand. There was no impact, no collision, no two unstoppable forces colliding in the night. There was only sound of its body slamming into the ground with its head landing a few seconds behind and at a distance of several feet from its body. Tonight, I took it.

Mist

Just out of reach
Like the mist
There she is
No longer a dream

I see her smile
Her lips curl gently
Warm
Inviting

I fall into her eyes
Deep as the sea
I'm lost
Completely captivated

I hear her voice
Relaxed and pleasing
I'm paralyzed
Lulled, not wanting to move

Don't leave
Stay a bit longer
As long as you like
Forever works for me