I Saw Poop Move And So Can You.

It was a first for me. There I was just minding my own business taking Lela for a walk. I've never seen poop move. "Why is it moving?" "I hope answering the question of why doesn't require me to pick up the poop." "Oh man, I don't even want to think about what would happen if Lela sees this poop moving. She might actually try to eat it thinking it was some kind of small animal." "Would I have to brush her teeth if she actually ate the poop?" "Would it make her throw up?" "Would I throw up?" "What if we both throw up?" "Would it be worse if it was her old poop or some other dogs poop?" Lucky for me, Lela wasn't as interested in the moving poop as the sentient being next to her. I wonder if this degree of wonderment will ever leave me. I vividly remember the moving leaves of Panama. A highway full of small leaves, marching to the beat of their own drummer, dribbling along the ground from bush to underground fortress. The leaves were at the mercy of what I considered Super Ants and later Army Ants (really called Leaf Cutter Ants).


http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/staticfiles/NGS/Shared/StaticFiles/animals/images/800/leaf-cutter-ant.jpg

I imagined the bunker was the size of our house with the walls constructed completely of green leafy paper. Their city probably had all of the facets of any city: government, stores, homes, and even that horrible thing called school. I wondered about their holidays and if they had weekends or a beach to go to. But, as I later learned in life, the most important question I asked that afternoon during my childhood was, "Why?"

So, why was this poop moving? Okay, so I have to be honest. I was really hoping for see the really cool Dung Beetle of Africa.


http://www.south-africa-tours-and-travel.com/images/flightless-dung-beetle-mike-gerhardt-addoelephantnationalpark.jpg

But, I had to settle for some kind of local beetle bench pressing the poop. The beetle was huge, about the size of those damn bluetooth headsets that people run around with sticking out of their ears. On a side note, I have a theory that those people are actually aliens using those damn bluetooth headsets to translate our language into their native tongue. Let it go, it's a working theory. Back to the case at hand, moving poop equals large beetle getting in an afternoon workout...don't fall into the trap of immediately jumping to African Dung Beetle, as you just might be mistaken.

Taxonomy Spoiler: In actuality, the African Dung Beetle and the beetle I found earlier this afternoon belong to the same scientific family and subfamily, Scarab (Scarabaeidea and Scarabaeinea...yes, you can put that many vowels into the same word, thank you Latin). This means the two beetles are related and one might even consider the beetle I found today to be a North American Dung Beetle.

Lub Dub

Lub dub…lub dub…lub dub
Sweat beading on my forehead
Deep breath, fogging my eye shield

Lub dub……lub dub……lub dub
Knife
SLAP as the knife hits my hand

Lub dub…lub dub…lub dub
Second deep breath, fogging my eye shield
Blasted mask

Lub dub……lub dub……lub dub
Stroke of the blade with firm pressure
Skin separation under tension

Lub dub……lub dub……lub dub
Suction
SLAP

Lub dub……lub dub……lub dub
Stroke of the blade.
Fat slides away.

Lub dub……lub dub……lub dub
Stroke of the blade.
Fascia yields.

Lub dub……lub dub……lub dub
Small retractors, no make it large retractors.
2nd set of hands, pristine metal tools under command.

Lub dub......lub dub……lub dub
Monitors scream and flash.
Shit…

Lub dub…lub dub…lub dub
Blood, blood, blood.
Suction the field.

Lub dub…lub dub…lub dub
Start norepi, IV saline wide open.
Where is that damn blood I ordered?

Lub dub…lub dub…lub dub
Blood pressure spirals down.
Under my breath, F&#* me.

Lub dub…lub dub…lub dub
Max the norepi.
Where did this little shit go?

Lub dub…lub dub…lub dub
Under my breath, stupid kid.
Why did he have a gun anyway?

Lub dub…lub dub…lub dub
Lub dub…………………………..
Piercing constant alarm.

Lub dub…lub dub…lub dub
I can’t find the goddamn bleeder.
Damn it. Stupid kid.

Lub dub…lub dub…lub dub
Time of death, zero one thirty-five hours.
Stupid kid.

Great Balls of Fire

It was once stated to me, "...that will be one of those memories that flashes before me as I die." The words were absolutely perfect and absolutely true. The statement presented in the context of a happy moment in life. I like that idea of my memories flashing before me as I pass away. I imagine that all such memories are not just happy memories. I think it would be wrong to imagine it as such. Life is so much more than happy. Some of my most powerful memories root themselves in loss under such terms of death, leaving home, not having a dad around for a few years, and personal sacrifice in family time. For many of these memories, oddly, I fear forgetting them, thus I keep photographs or physical reminders around me. On my wall is a picture of Columbia's last re-entry as seen on the cover of "Times" with the caption, "The Columbia is lost." The crew's faces, mannerisms, and days on orbit remain burned into my thoughts. In my truck, I keep reminders of my dogs who passed away. For a long time, I kept tokens of injuries that ended my chances of advancing into the world of soccer. And yep, somewhere I have memories of past romantic relationships. Some of these memories feel more like scars than memories. I have noted this to be the case especially with the death of some patients. These patients are the ones who in my mind shouldn't have died yet. When this happens I find myself flashing back to the Columbia's balls of fire. As a kid, I pictured doctors to be these people who could strike down death with fierce unwavering intention to pull people back into the living. Back then, I secretly wanted to be that guy. I wanted to pull people back who shouldn't die yet...along with saving the world from something. I now know that guy really doesn't exist most of the time. However, every now and then if you are in the right place at the right, then you get to be that person. You get to be the person who says, "Not now, not today." When those moments occur then just maybe I will get to see them again right before I die.